How do you handle stress? There’s no question that the stress family caregivers face can be overwhelming and unrelenting. It’s how you learn to cope with the stress that is inherent in your role of family caregiver that may make all the difference for you as well as your loved one. With this in mind, NFCA presents some helpful information that was recently published in Washingtonian magazine.
(We are grateful to Washingtonian for allowing us to share the following information with our readers.)
What’s Your Stress Score?
Take this quiz — which was devised with the help of several mental health professionals — to get your stress score. The higher the total score, the higher your stress. Scores range from 0-30.
Never: 0 points Sometimes: 1 point Always: 2 points
1. Do you have difficulty relaxing when you have down time?
2. Do you have trouble sleeping more than twice a week?
3. Do you have a hard time saying no without feeling guilty?
4. Do you get upset by small delays or setbacks, like a slow checkout line at the grocery store?
5. Do you feel you don’t have enough time to take care of yourself?
6. Do you get sick more often than the people around you?
7. Do you get frequent headaches or back pain, or do you grind your teeth?
8. Do you find yourself eating or drinking to calm yourself?
9. Do you exercise fewer than three times a week?
10. Do you feel you have too little time with family and friends?
11. Do you worry that you won’t be able to pay your bills?
12. Do you feel you can’t accomplish everything on your to-do list?
13. Do you work more than 50 hours a week?
14. Do you feel you have little control over your daily schedule?
15. Do you feel anxious when you can’t check your e-mail or phone for more than an hour?
What Stress Does
There’s good stress and bad stress. The good kind helps us think clearly and react quickly when we’re in dangerous situations. We feel it in bursts of adrenaline that increase heart rate, blood flow, and muscle strength.
Bad — chronic — stress occurs when we’re exposed to stressful situations for prolonged periods, as when a family member is ill or money is tight. Our bodies produce high levels of hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline that cause our stress-response systems to remain on high alert. Eventually, our bodies are overwhelmed. Prolonged stress can wreak havoc on vital organs and the immune system, triggering or exacerbating everything from backaches to skin rashes to heart attacks.
Here are some of the ways stress can affect your body.
Have Less Stress: Learn to Pause
Words of Wisdom From a Meditation Leader
Sophie Gilbert
Tara Brach has been teaching Buddhist meditation for more than 35 years and is founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. Her classes in Bethesda (Maryland) regularly draw several hundred people. We asked her how meditation can help conquer stress:
“I find that when people are stressed, it’s because they’re afraid of failing. I call it the trance of unworthiness. We feel bad about ourselves, we become convinced we’re going to make a mistake, and then we get locked into this mindset of judging ourselves. Meditative strategies are ways of coming back into our bodies in a clear, centered state.
“The first step is to stop. I call this the sacred art of pausing. Just stop your action, then breathe — three or four full breaths — then intentionally relax. Soften your hands. Stop and purposely feel them, and you’ll feel yourself coming back into your body. Then soften your face with a very slight smile. It’s a trick that works by telling your body to stop the fight-or-flight response.
“The second thing I teach is called mindful presence — being here. Listen to yourself and ask, ‘What’s happening inside me right now?’ Then experience whatever is inside — maybe a feeling of anxiety or loneliness or restlessness or sorrow. It’s a way of getting intimate with your inner life. When people are stressed, they lose that contact.
“The third step is kindness. Befriend yourself. Put your hand on your heart and send a message to yourself of kindness, of being worthy. Sometimes people say, ‘I accept myself just as I am. I may be peaceful. I may feel safe. I may be happy.’ When we’re stressed, we’re generally fixated on some small goal, like making a traffic light or a meeting, and we forget what really matters.”
Have Less Stress: Reboot Your Brain
Clear Your Mind With a Five-Minute Meditation
Denise Kersten Wills
Think of meditating as rebooting your brain, says Annette Annechild, a psychotherapist and founder of the Healing Arts Center of Georgetown (Washington, D.C.). Just as your computer often functions better after being switched off, your mind needs a break from life’s constant noise.
There are many different kinds of meditation — Annechild says the book Meditation for Dummies is a good primer. Classes are available at yoga studios, meditation centers, and elsewhere.
“People find that when somebody’s guiding them, it helps them to tune in a little better,” says Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist, author, and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington.
Meditation is simple enough to try on your own, and it can take as little as five minutes a day. Don’t expect to be able to do it the first time, Annechild says. It takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, meditation becomes almost automatic. Here’s how to do it:
• Choose a spot in your home such as a favorite chair and sit in a comfortable, upright position; you could also lie down. Always try to meditate in the same spot. You can burn incense or light a candle if that helps you set the mood.
• If you’re the type to worry about how much time has passed, set a timer so you won’t interrupt your meditation to check the clock.
• Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Try to make your exhalations take twice as long as your inhalations. Count to three while inhaling, to six while exhaling.
• If you prefer, silently repeat a mantra instead of counting. There are many mantras — you could make up your own. Om shanti is a popular one; om is a sacred sound, and shanti means “peace” in Sanskrit. Think the word om as you inhale and shanti as you exhale.
• Now the hard part: Try to keep your mind focused only on your breath. As other thoughts come into your head, let them go and bring your attention back to your breathing.
To view Washingtonian’s entire online stress package, go to www.washingtonian.com/packages/havelesstress/index.html.
Copyright 2010, 2011 The Washingtonian; reprinted by permission. For more on the subject, see www.washingtonian.com .
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